This year I’ve made one primary resolution, and hopefully this one will become a permanent change. Although the idea is simple, I’ve realized by practicing for a couple months, it isn’t easy.
In 2012, my goal is to not describe people using physical characteristics. For instance, I no longer want to describe someone using their skin color, hair color, level of attractiveness, or any other physical descriptors when recalling an experience. Although some labels may be true, I believe when we physically describe someone, we take credit away from their personality and mentality. Except in the case of trying to find an individual, i.e. I just got mugged, and I need to describe the assailant to the police, one’s physical attributes rarely lend anything more to the thought.
Since seeing another person is usually our first experience with them, we will understandably place them in a group based on how they appear. In fact, that may be how our ancestors protected themselves. If Caveman Bob sees an unfamiliar, tall man approaching the village with a spear, Caveman Bob will assume he’s dangerous, and prepare appropriately. The problem is when we use this primitive thought process in everyday, non-life-threatening situations. When we come to conclusions about others before knowing anything about them, we perpetuate stereotypes and develope scenarios in our head that are far from actuality.
When we say “you look pretty today” to the little girl with the new dress, we’re telling her she’s pretty because of her clothes, but this is not the truth. Her dress is pretty, and she is simply wearing it. The dress may have an interesting pattern, color, or shape which makes it pretty, but the girl herself hasn’t changed. If these misdirected compliments go on long enough, the young girl may grow to believe the clothes she wears, makeup she puts on, or the amount of skin she shows controls her beauty.
Our culture tells us that those who cannot grow hair should put on wigs, and those whose body parts have been removed are incomplete. Turning relativistic notions about beauty and ugliness into absolute images is killing our neighbors and distracting us from their true potential.
The girl isn’t pretty because of her clothes.
The man isn’t lazy because he’s overweight.
The woman isn’t stupid because she’s blonde.
The boy isn’t uneducated because he’s a minority.
In 2012, I aim to resolve any visual biases and learn more about people. When I remember you, you’ll be who I know you to be.